Random Texts

Texting can be an efficient, fast way to communicate. It can also provide a good deal of entertainment. Take my friend Esther, for example. Esther is my personal source for entertaining, random texts.

Now, there are lots of texts that, if taken out of context, would seem ridiculously random. I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about out-of-the-blue messages that pop up on my phone unexpectedly and are not in response to any prior conversation. Below is a top ten list of my favorite, random text messages from Esther.

10. "trying the hot cocoa diet again...its gross but works great! u buy 80 cal nestle hot cocoa and every time u want to binge on candy u drink a cup." (1/4/11 Esther--always good for random New Year's resolution dieting tips)

9. "removed bike rack...car feels naked" (2/18/11 I hate when that happens.)

8. "how worthless is it that i kinda want a grad degree in print journalism?" (2/23/11 Totally, utterly random, and not entirely worthless.)

7. "so i got dragged 2 anthr zumba class lol...idk y i dont like it :( choreography is hard to pick up. im gonna stick to just dancing at the club." (1/13/11 Again, utterly random; one could have fun w/this.)

6. "the ladder rungs on playhouse could use reinforcement" (4/30/11 I think she was babysitting for us and was outside w/the girls. She's good at alerting us to potential hazards. I could not find any texts about recalled toys or our desperate need to replace smoke detector batteries. I think those must be e-mails.)

5. "omg the second day up early is a killer" (5/11/11 Esther is a self-employed personal assistant/pet sitter/house sitter/dog walker/babysitter, so there could be any number of reasons she had to be up early two days in a row.)

4. "u have any food?" (1/16/11 See #5 for Esther's job description. This helps explain a random plea for food.)

3. "if something happened 2 me and someone called and left u a msg to inform you how long would it take for you to be aware of the message and hear it?" (4/6/11 Sometimes I am guilty of not checking phone messages as often as modern society deems necessary to be in the "general courtesy" category.)

2. "i need some bite release strategies...client bit me and all i remembered was 2 scold her and not pull away" (4/30/11 Since Esther is employed both by pet owners and parents of special needs children, this one gave me a particularly good chuckle. And I DO know a good bite-release strategy.)


1. "ur ok right? i had a bad dream u died" (3/23/11 This is hands-down #1. It caused me to laugh out loud in a work meeting. I ended up reading it aloud and providing a welcomed, lighthearted distraction to all. Then I texted her back right away, so as not to cruelly leave her hanging.)


The crazy thing is, I could have done a top twenty list...the texts from Applebee's Tuesday Night Trivia Matches are good ("who was the 26th president?"), as are the observations from her psych courses, the personal lives of her friends, and the reminders that I'm supposed to be keeping tabs on the relational status of a certain single guy friend. But alas, it's late and I must go to bed. I wonder what kind of text I'm going to get once she reads this? :) Thank you, Esther, for your faithful friendship and your voluminous flow of entertaining, random texts! It's a good thing Alan and I switched to that unlimited plan.