I'm annoyed at myself. Recently I've been "that person" who says something either unnecessary or in an unnecessary way. Last night at Ev's school PTO meeting, her class parent asked for opinions about what to get the teacher as a gift. I blurted out, "As a teacher myself, definitely NOT some little knick knack." Well that could have been said differently. I saw the faces of the parents who'd, well, given teachers knick knacks before. Ugh.
And last week at my ensemble rehearsal, one of the ladies was talking about how much she'd saved at a recent sale. I jumped out with, "I prefer to save by not buying anything at all." WHY did I say that??? Sheesh. Why not just "rejoice with those who rejoice" and say, "that's great?" Besides, (kicking myself in backside) I DO buy things, for crying out loud!
It seems I am living in a state of rush and annoyance and have stopped taking the time to temper my tongue.
Today I received another e-vite for a kid birthday party and actually said aloud, "Oh no." I had both my kids in popular months. There are always lots of invitations, and I always find it difficult planning parties for my own kids and balancing the ones to which they are invited. Before they could read, I'd just confiscate the invitations and RSVP without their knowledge.
And somewhere along the line I lost the joy of planning anything--any kind of party or celebration. It has zero appeal to me. That makes me sad. We've attended the e-vite kid's parties in the past. There are usually about 75-100 people there. Multiple grills are going, several tents of food are set up, music is piped in, an entire side porch is loaded with gifts, and kids are running everywhere. And the parents seem to LOVE it. And their child will likely grow up with these amazing memories of her parties and what a huge deal they were. The hope would be that SHE would feel like a huge deal.
I assume it is ok that planning and pulling off a party like that does not sound like fun to me. It definitely does not sound like fun to Alan. But I want my kids to know what a HUGE deal they are. I want them to know how incredible I think they are, and that they are two of the best things that have ever happened to me. I want them to feel incredibly, incredibly special.
Amelia will turn 5 on Monday.
I'll keep you posted. And I'll gladly accept prayers and advice, especially since I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes thinking about what a precious gift this little girl is to me and how much I long to give her. (Pictures from our Spring Break trip to the Eastern Shore, in an adorable ice cream shop in the historic town of Lewes, DE.)
5 comments:
I don't think you need to have a big bash for a kid to know they are special. What does Amelia want to do for her birthday party?
We are having a bike parade for Henry's. (Tomorrow) They will decorate their bikes and ride around the neighborhood. He invited 8 or so friends, and I included siblings because I don't mind a few extras. He is so excited. He has asked me every day if anyone now has responded to the evite.
anyone new, not now...
Happy belated birthday to Amelia. Il appreciate the personalableness(not sure that's a real word)
love and God bless
Pop Z
Awww...that means a lot. It's not every day someone makes up a word just for you. :) Thank you.
We all say things we regret. "Why would anyone want to go to Scotland?" LOL, I still want to apologize to your Dad and his "people" ha ha! But God forgives. And big parties do not have to happen every year. Maybe another year if you and the rest of the family are totally for it. We love family celebrations and I still remember those I grew up with. You make memories and make your kids feel loved every day. A huge party can't make or break that. :) Miss you!!!
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